Self-care for parents: why your well-being is essential.

There are a couple of essential things every parent should know when raising children — and neither requires a psychology degree.

1. Know what’s normal for your child’s development.

Understanding your child’s developmental stage helps bring perspective — and relief.

Some behaviours might feel intense or personal, but they’re completely normal for where your child is at.

For example:

• Refusing to eat a banana because it’s not cut the “right” way.

• Crying or melting down when it’s time to leave the house, even if you're heading somewhere fun.

• Flat-out refusing to bathe, brush their teeth or wear socks.

• Arguing over screen time limits or homework without seeming to care about consequences.

• Complaining constantly about food, clothes, or chores, as if everything is unfair.

• Getting emotionally overwhelmed by a minor setback — like losing a game or not getting invited to something.

  
  

These reactions aren’t signs that something is wrong with your child — or with you as a parent. They’re signs of a growing nervous system, a need for autonomy and the challenge of learning emotional regulation (which, to be honest, many adults are still working on too).

Understanding these moments for what they are helps us stay grounded. It reminds us: My child isn’t broken. AND I’m not failing.

2. Keep a few playful tools up your sleeve.

Some of the most effective parenting strategies are also the simplest. When we meet our children with creativity and imagination, we often avoid power struggles — and bring more ease into the moment.

A few examples:

• The sock song: Make up a silly song while putting on socks in the morning instead of insisting or rushing.

• Two options, one boundary: “I know you want to stay at the park, but it’s time to go. Would you rather hop to the car like a bunny or tiptoe like a spy?”

• Imaginative transitions: Instead of "Brush your teeth now", try: "Let’s see if a superhero can brush their teeth faster than a dragon!”

• Humour to de-escalate: When your 10-year-old grumbles about helping with dishes, respond in a mock dramatic voice: “Alas! The Dreaded Spoon Cleaning Task! Only the bravest shall survive!”

• Connection before correction: When your preteen storms off and slams a door, wait a moment, then knock and say, “Want to tell me what felt so unfair? I’m here.”

  
  

These aren’t just tricks — they’re ways to help our child cooperate while preserving the connection. They help us step out of yelling, threatening or bargaining mode.

3. The Most Important Piece: Self-Care for parents. Why how you’re doing is everything.

These first two pieces are powerful. But there’s something even more important than understanding your child’s behaviour or having the right tools to manage it.

It’s how you are doing.

You could have all the parenting knowledge in the world and still feel stuck. You could know exactly what your child needs and still feel resentful, exhausted or disconnected.

That’s why this question matters deeply:

How are you feeling in your relationship with your child?

Are you rushing from one task to the next, never quite catching your breath?

Are you carrying emotional weight — stress, guilt, overwhelm — that never really gets addressed?

Are you parenting from a place of connection — or from depletion?

🟨 PARENTING TRUTH: When you feel resourced, rested and emotionally connected to yourself — everything changes. Not because your child’s behaviour disappears, but because your capacity expands.

Self-care isn’t a luxury. It’s a foundation.

We often talk about parenting strategies. But we don’t talk enough about the inner world of the parent. Self-care for parents is not a side note — it’s the context that shapes everything else.

Learning to:

• Listen to yourself

• Understand your reactions

• Set boundaries

• Say no when you need to

• Rest when you’re depleted

… isn’t about winning the “Parent of the Year” award. It’s about feeling good inside your own life, so you can genuinely enjoy your relationship with your child.

Because yes, our kids deserve to feel seen, safe, and connected — but so do we.

The Bottom Line.

Your child deserves to feel loved and supported. And so do you.

Self-care isn’t a reward you earn after doing everything else — it’s what helps you keep going. It’s what helps you enjoy this wild, beautiful, imperfect journey of raising a human being.

Make room for yourself in the story of your family. That’s not selfish. That’s wise.